My dear friend Amy has been poking me to post on here (I should be anyway).
And since I didn’t know what to post about, my friend Jeremiah told me to write about cheesecake.
I shall be making up a lot of this as I go. 😉 And it shall be of a much worse quality than my normal writing, because I’m tired and I do not plan to publish this!
Cheesecake, a dessert invented in 1866, is a decadent pie made with cream cheese and sugar, plus various other ingredients.
Why they call it a cake, I know not; it is much more reminiscent of a pie.
The inventor was a man named Paul Deen. He was quite a fat man, and he always wore a creepy smile on his pasty white face. Or so they tell me.
He liked to make desserts so rich in fat, cholesterol and sugar that people who ate them became addicted and made their nutritionists angry; he hated nutritionists.
So, one day, he gathered the least healthy ingredients he could find and set to work.
Sweeping a white-robed arm across the work surface in his kitchen, he scattered his tools all over the floor.
Why did he do that, you ask? I don’t know, I’m just the writer. He must have thought it was cool.
So then, he had to go and clean up all the junk he knocked on the floor. When he was finished with that, he looked over his ingredients.
Cream cheese…sugar…sour cream…a pie crust…
“What the hey?” he said aloud, and mixing up the cream cheese, sour cream and sugar, he threw them in the pie crust and refrigerated it for a few hours.
After it had hardened, Paul drizzled chocolate over it, and garnished it with three berries-just for a hint of health.
The he cut a slice…stuck his fork into it…and took a bite.
And that was the first time that anyone ever died because of utter deliciousness.